*Tail of the Werebard

The sound of rumbling and dust filled the air as the dragon flapped away. Karl awoke to the sound of his own snoring. His head felt as if it had been sent through a car wash. Where was the dragon? Was it all a weird dream or was it a sign of things to come? It was now early evening, Natzzo had been keeping vigil over Karl, the rest sharpened their weapons by the fire. Karl opened his eyes and and sat up. Natzzo called to the others "Hey! He's up, he's alright!"

"Whoa, what happenned?" Karl fell over, Verklempt helped him up. "A lot happenned while you were convalessing, Karl. If you can recall, fate rolled us a bad di, we were all swept into a flash flood after the avalanche. We saw you drifting ahead of us in a pile of branches and then you went under. Natzzo dove in after you and dragged you to shore. We thought you were a goner, my friend. Gobarth used his last two spells of healing on you."

Verklmept stood underlit by the camp fire, the flickering light caught his glassy eye. "It was nearly 24 hour ago, on a night not unlike tonight... we were set upon by the Werebard." A pregnant pause filled the air. Karl pursed his lips, he thought he caught a typo. "Did you mean a Were-BOAR?"

"No Karl! A Were-BARD!" Ah Ro Ghant exclaimed "A dangerous denizen of the Horn-rimmed Ghetto. By day this beast lurks stealthily in hipster coffee houses and dive bars, deceiving the very Bohemies that it preys upon. At night it sheds its dermal disguise to become a man-eating scourge!"

Natzzo nudged forward. "So, this fellow... he appeared from yon woods... he seemed harmless. Tall, slight build, messy bed-head hair, red gingham shirt and black rimmed spectacles. You know the kind. He claimed to be a wayfarer that became separated from his Dutch girlfreind after they were vicously attacked by rival hipsters. We offerred him food and a place around our fire just for the night. When I aksed him what was his trade, he said he was the 'keeper of the prose', a bard. Who on Middle Earth makes a living as a bard? He obliged our invitiation to stay the night, but first he had to check his cellphone for messages. He slunk back into the dark woods. That didn't make any sense, this is a dead-zone. I grew suspicious. "

Ver Klempt demonstrated with his Blackberry "See, you can't even text message from here. So he returned at night with some work in progress that he wanted us to hear. At first it all seemed harmless, maybe free of grammer, but he read his spoken word for hours: idealized romance, lofty socialism, sad sibling relations, and the like. I couldn't keep my eyes open, I simply passed out from boredom! It was Gobarth's turn to take watch."

Gobarth ranted on. "Ughhhhhh! His work was unbearable! You know, it felt as if I were being smothered by a heavy, dark blanket of pretentiousness. It was the spell of the Werebard I tell you! As I was resting my eyes I could hear everyone snoring, then the reading stopped, I peaked from the corner of my eye and sat straight up! The Werebard dropped his hardbound journal and began to shed its skin and clothing right before my eyes." Gobarth continued "There stood the Werebard! 'Its teeth that bite, it's claws that snatch...' excuse me for being so derivative, canine teeth, pale green rakish body, a long scaley whip of a tail! It dropped on all fours like a dog and started to lick at your head, Karl." He paused to catch his breath. "That's when I yelled 'Werebard! WEREBARD!' It turned and jumped on me knocking me to the ground. We struggled, I cried out for help! I could smell it's sour breath on me, it reeked of old money!"

Vickers pushed Gobarth aside. "That's when I was torn from my slumber. I thought I heard the screams of a little girl! It was Gobarth! The beast had him by his head and it started scaling up a tree. I grabbed its leg and it dropped Gobarth. Its tail stuck me across the face, then it lunged at me! It jumped from the tree onto my back and had me in a head lock! It cursed like a horney sailor as I grabbed it's head and plucked out an eye. Look!" she pulled a soft grey orb from between her décolleté and showed everyone.

Ah Ro Ghant spoke. "I was awaken by this struggle. It had you good, Vickers. I grabbed it and cut at its boney tail. It released Vickers and gave off a piercing yelp that woke everyone from their prose enduced coma. It ran off into the woods leaving its severed tail in my hand. Look here, this is how I made a long tail short... behold the tail of the Werebard!" He waved it up proudly and then scatched his back with it."I'm keeping this." he said.

Karl was stunned, all this adventure as he lay unconscious "Will it return?" he asked. "Perhaps, there might be more of them." said Klem Matoh. "All the lousy little poets coming round tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson."

"Ughhh... derivative... Cohen...." Gobarth commented "If Werebards hunt unsuccessfully, they go dormant. But they can survive for years in torpur, living off stored entitlement and a healthy trust fund." Ah Ro Ghant made a decision for the group "We'll camp here tonight with three of us keeping guard all night. Tomorrow we roll the di to decide if we continue to Teekay-Teekay."

"Stupid Werebard" said Ms. Vickers.

To be continued...