Do You See What IC?

Today was Karl's first day of Anger Management: Individual Council, or for those in the know, IC. He splurged and took a cab since his knee was still hurting from that ice skating epsiode. On his way to the building he noticed two men from Monday evening's group session. He nodded at them, they stared back blankly. Note: Karl, stop being so friendly, they think you're a narc! Karl has accepted that he has to fullfil this Anger Management course, its the law.

I was a little late, the morning traffic on Flatbush was backed up from Grand Army all the way to the Manhattan Bridge. "Hey Karl, hang on, I'll be right with you!" Mr. L---- was on the phone. I passed by the basket of free LifeStyle™ condoms at the front desk and took a seat. I noticed that the condom pile was smaller than before. The slogan should be "I'm Stylin' with LifeStyle™".

Note: On Monday evening Karl mistook the condoms in the basket for a pile mints, so he grabbed a greedy handful as he passed the front desk. The guy next to him pointed and made a face, so Karl gave him a few, which was even more ackward than just grabbing a handful of condoms. So Karl returned the rest to basket, pat the pile back in place, and walked out the door.

Mr. L---- called me in, he had my case file open, he asked me what I thought of Monday evening's AM session. I spoke frankly, "Most of these guys are just out of jail and sound like they're in rehab. I don't have much to contribute to this group." He confirmed that yes they were all kicking some form of drug habit, but insisted again that I was here for a reason. He showed me my file and pointed to area that read "Domestic Violence".

I thought to myself Oh, not again. Didn't we go through this at intake? "I'm NOT domestically violent" I insisted. "I live alone, who am I going domestic on?" Mr. L---- reviewed the court papers, looked at the other boxes for drug/violence history. "Oh that's right... you Karl... no drugs... no violence. Yeah, the court doesn't state any specific reason for you other than Anger Management Mandated by Judge. Why would he do a thing like that?" I replied "A career judge wants to be an Appeals Judge, he threw this in at my sentencing day."

Goodly judge D--------- gave Karl the gift of Anger Management and drug testing, saying he would benefit from it. Benefit? This is not a free I-pod! Taking pause, Karl put a hand to his face and in silent prayer wished the judge cancer again. With the other hand he reached into his bindle crushing a sprig of holly to evoke the spell. "Golf-ball-size tumors..." he mutterred. He'll pray for the other three later.

"Well I have to put down something and list a reason for you being here, otherwise you'll have to leave this program and find another one." The thought of calling RDU, refiling papers and running around again was making me sick. "How's this, put down Anger Management Mandated by Judge D---------." He thought about it, nodded in agreement and wrote it down. He crossed out Domestic violence.

"OK, so what do you think you need to work on?"
"I gave this a lot of thought, I'd like to quit smoking. Do you have anything for that in this program?"
"Yeah of course we do, anything you need, Karl."
"I'm back up to two packs a day and I think its just time to stop, but I can't do this on my own. I need some help."
"You stressed?"
"Well yeah, I'd say I'm stressed."

We talked about different methods of stopping, from the patch to cold turkey. He said he'd get me more information and wrote down "Needs to quit smoking" in the box marked Reason. The next client knocked on the wall and announced himself. I put on my scarf and got up from the chair. Mr. L---- insisted again that if I didn't have an anger problem, this wouldn't have happenned. He motioned to a copy of the complainant's report (the ECAB). Now here are two folks that could use some Clock-Work-Orange-style AM and thorough drug testing: that lying sack-o-cow-fertilizer and her psycho boyfreind.

Epilogue
So far AM has been fairly harmless. But as with all my court matters, I have to keep re-stating my case and insisting on it. Apparently Mandated by Judge without having a previous history of drugs and violence is not the usual road to Anger Management. It always seems that Mr. L---- has to prompt me with a question so that he can fill in an entry into a box on a grid. He always starts off with a personal story like "I was hooked on (name of substance) too." I thought I was once addicted to nasal spray, but that doesn't trump a heroin story.

If I can quit smoking through some program I think I will have made some worth of my time. BATF would be happy, my parents would be happy, and I'd feel like I worked with the program.

So why am I really here? Progress report: 6 - 1 = 5 IC sessions.