The First Wave of Anger

Karl arrived at BATF a little early it was about 5:30 pm. He called Mr. L---- earlier to make sure they still had an Anger Mangement meeting. At this point he doesn't really belive that any court matter happens the way it was described to him earlier. "Hey, Mr. Karl, how you doin'. Just go in there and sign yourself in." He motioned at the large room where three angry men were already seated. By 6:00 pm the room started to fill with people, a total of 16 men of varied ages and ethnicity. They sat in smaller groups: muslims, Puerto Ricans, Jamaicans... and then Karl, the Druid. Some of them knew each other from previous programs.

Week 1, The Rules:
Program Overview, Getting to Know You
One thing became apparent to me: I was the only guy not wearing construction boots, a plaid shirt and gold jewelry. A few of them spoke casually about being clean or off the stuff. One guy with the do-rag said "What's the point, they just keep sending me back to programs." This felt like the first ackward day of kindergaren, but more sinister. They all had prison/parole stories to exchange, I had none. I wanted to tell them about the Naga's lair. Another guy who just got out of prison had a great things to report: He's in a group home in Williamsburg (trendy); he recieves $1,000.00 a month to sweep streets; he has a clean room with a big flat-screen TV; and he's also in a job placement program. You go, former meth-guy!

Mr. L---- started the meeting. "This is orientation night so we might get out early. I have two speakers this evening who have some things to give you, but let's go over a few things first." He reviewed the group rules and enforced that we will have repsect for each other, or we wil be removed from the program. He went over the Bill of Rights that we were handed, all sessions are confidential, etc. He said that if we miss a session with out making arrangements we would automatically be disqualified from the program. Since this program is mandated by Criminal Court we would have to face the judge.

Oi vey, again with the judge. I state again, I don't really want to see the goodly judge D-------- again, unless I can see that he now has large visible tumors on his face and body.

As Mr. L---- called our names from the sign in sheet, we each picked our Individual Council days, I picked Wednesday from 9 to 10 am. I can get a bacon n' egg sandwich before hand. We must complete 6 ICs over three months in addition to the 12 group meetings. We had two speakers tongiht: Speaker One gave us free key chains and pens and drug discounts for HIV and Hep C. Speaker two gave us information on free/cheap insurance for those who have none. I kept her card, I might need some dental work.

All seemed like they just wanted to get this over, without a hitch. Mr. L---- asked. "Who of you has an anger problem?" One guy raised his hand. "Who thinks they don't have an anger problem?" Two men raised their hands, I raised my spear. "Who gets angry now and then?" We all raised our hands, including the guest speakers.

So we are in fact the men's group. We will relate as men and do manly things. I hope they don't make us do talking drum session. Mr. L---- said that we need to bond and exchange as men. He offerred other bonuses for another session: How to get a NY State ID lessons; possible field trip (to where?); pizza; and possible stress massage. Oh dear lord! Please don't let them touch me. So far the only thing that applies to me is "pizza". He warmed up next week's speaker: "He has 11 counts of felony and he's coming back strong, let's put our hands together for (name here)."

Epilogue
The meeting ended early at around 7:00 pm. It wasn't very eventful. Maybe not even blog-worthy. I shook Mr. L----'s hand and said I'd see him Wednesday morning. Although neither speaker topics apply to me, I still kept the key chain and pen, Gobarth will be green with envy when I show the group my Anger Management loot! These chochkees beat a poison amulet any day. I wished they had a T-shirt that read "I have HIV, and all they gave me was this lousy T-shirt?"
I'd wear one. Wouldn't you?

So why the hell am I here? Oh, that's right: 12 - 1 = 11 group meetings.