The hallways and rooms were very clean painted in ivory semi-gloss. The bulletin board was adorned with positive reinforcement messages, i.e. a cartoon of a duckling crossing a pond; it's mother quacking "You can do it!". "Holiday 2005" was spelled out in large red glitter letters, as if it were promoting a Uniterian monster-smack-down. The facility buzzed with activity, many a youth walked around in a daze clad in camouflage fatigues, even the girls (camouflage now comes in pink). Day Top Village has four floors of Substance Abuse Treatment. Karl was assigned a meeting in the basement with Councelor R----.
After signing away disclosure and privacey rights she began the proccess. The questionnaire is meant for assessing an existing substance problem, a substance history, family problems and personal history. No need for blood and urine testing at this meeting. This went quickly since the answer to entire sections was "No". I parked my bindle and said good evening to councelor R----.
"Are you an American citizen?"
"Yes, Middle Earth is an American annex."
"Are you religious?"
"I'm a lapsed Druid."
"How old are your parents?"
"My father will be 188, which makes my mother 176."
"Do they have a history of substance abuse?"
"Come on, they're very old, no."
My combliness points proved strong. Ms. R---- laughed. From that point whole sections where just marked NO in bold letters. She asked about drinking habits: how much, frequency, etc.
"How much do you spend on drinking?"
"Three beers at three dollars plus tip, about fourteen bucks."
"You don't have include the tip amount."
"If I'm taking up bar space I should."
From there the answers to specific drug use and habits were "No." "Oh, God no." "No, were do you buy that?" She laughed and made a face and then asked "So why are you here?" I said "I plead to a third degree assault, A Misdemeanor. " She paused and made a face again. "I meant why were you even sent here?" I shrugged my shoulders "It's what the judge ordered." She shrugged back and said "I know, but you don't seem to need this. " I scratched my head and replied "And here we all are."
She aksed a few more questions, we talked a bit about "race" and how it's an odd question that they put on the questionarrie. She asked what do I consider myself, I said American. She nodded. At some point I think she thought I was sent by the man to audit her job performance.
I requested copies of paper work to prove that I made my appointment. When I asked where these will be sent, she said she didn't know, she just asks the questions, but I should inform my PO that this session was completed. I picked up my bindle, said "Thanks" and headed off to my Thursday snare making group.
Epilogue
I don't know the value of this type assessment. What if I were some crack addict that lied through my teeth? I assume her expertise as a social worker would detect such fraud. When the judge gets this report will he realize I'm not a drug addict/alcoholic? Will the complainants be assessed about their drug history? As I learn more about our court system first hand, I can only say that it serves the court system itself, not a normal man nor beast.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Assessment Ashmessment
Five phone messages later...
The councelor at Day Top Village, Ms. R---- said that Karl was never on a list for a Substance Abuse Assessment appointment. Karl had to call their program director to schedule an new appointment. The re-scheduling process went something like this.
"Hold and I'll transfer you to my supervisor."
The phone rang 8 times and then she yelled
"Hey R--! Pick up your line!"
He picked up the phone confimed my request and said that I have to call his secretary to book the appointment. He transferred me to Ms. V------- but the phone cut off. So I called him back and asked him to just give me her extension. He tansferred me again and yelled.
"V-------, pick up your phone!"
Yesterday at around 6:10 pm I was confirmed for Substance Abuse Assessment for this evening. Was this the test? Did I pass? This was like toboggoning around a blind hill without the team.
My plan "B" was to just show up and yell "I demand to be assessed, now!" (ala Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate"). Not a great plan, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. I don't think they can completely blame the MTA strike for this. Their Assessement Program needs a good phone tree with late 70's rock and some judicious auditing.
The councelor at Day Top Village, Ms. R---- said that Karl was never on a list for a Substance Abuse Assessment appointment. Karl had to call their program director to schedule an new appointment. The re-scheduling process went something like this.
"Hold and I'll transfer you to my supervisor."
The phone rang 8 times and then she yelled
"Hey R--! Pick up your line!"
He picked up the phone confimed my request and said that I have to call his secretary to book the appointment. He transferred me to Ms. V------- but the phone cut off. So I called him back and asked him to just give me her extension. He tansferred me again and yelled.
"V-------, pick up your phone!"
Yesterday at around 6:10 pm I was confirmed for Substance Abuse Assessment for this evening. Was this the test? Did I pass? This was like toboggoning around a blind hill without the team.
My plan "B" was to just show up and yell "I demand to be assessed, now!" (ala Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate"). Not a great plan, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. I don't think they can completely blame the MTA strike for this. Their Assessement Program needs a good phone tree with late 70's rock and some judicious auditing.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Managing Upwards
The X-mas/Chanukah/Kwanza Holiday was nice and quiet. Karl had dinner with a friend from Jamaica at her mother's house in Jamaica, Queens. The food was excellent but the conversation about the Jamaicas became a bit confusing. The late night call to Victor on Middle Earth was unsuccessful. No one picked up the phone. Were they out visiting or delivering gifts? Maybe the traditional Holiday dragon knocked out the power and phone lines. One never knows what to expect on Middle Earth.
Today was the second appointement with the Probation Office. I was the only person in the waiting area for the first 30 minutes. Upon further inspection of the "help" rack, all the outreach material was for STDs, Hep C, HIV and Birth Control/Teen Pregnancy. One stop shopping for the demimonde. I parused the November issue of Latina magazine instead. Curious thing, all the perfume ads were missing.
The PO, Mr. L---, called my name and waved me in. The meeting was short, I had nothing to report except that I'd be meeting with Day Top Village at 6:00 pm for Substance Abuse Assessment. He reminded me to that he will be out for the month of January and I will report to a new PO , I should just keep following up all appoitments. I told him that Anger Mangement will not happen until January 3, 2006 as with Community Service assignment.
2006 already? Wow, where did the year go? Oh, that's right I spent most of it in court.
Managing the Anger Management
This is where things get confusing about Anger Management. Fortune Society referred me to BRC which told me to make an appointment in January with BATF, or the Brooklyn AIDS Task Force. Aids? This poney ride just went even more sallow. It seems just two weeks I got used to idea of sitting in with a group of angry meth-queens in Chelsea. What are angry AIDS patients like? Maybe I should have grabbed the literature from the help rack. At least it's in the same building where I teach. Again, one stop shopping. I won't know the duration of this program until I meet with them next week. I was told that it can go anywhere from 12 to 26 weeks. The person I spoke with said 6 weeks, but he seemed concerned about getting home during the strike.
Probation Agenda 2006
- January 17, third of four probation appointments
- Appoint one more home visit with new PO
- Call Ms. R-------- at Resource Division Unit for 70 hours of Community Service
- Anger Management with BATF, make appointment on Jan. 3
Civil court still looms like a pendulous boulder. Nothing has moved yet but I can't imagine someone filing with Supereme Court and letting a case lapse. Civil lawyers need to get paid too.
So who are the two creatures that put me here? I don't know much about them at all. They are neither monsters nor demi-gods. Just two mortals that confused entitlement with civic action. I know they both met at Bard, and they both pursued an education to become a bard. But both ended up just playing the lyre, and not so well. I don't think much of them.
Managing the various programs and appointments has become my third job. I have to keep track of all dates to make sure they do not conflict, the Probation Office does not keep track of this matter. If I don't fulfill these requirements I'll prolong my probation. Essentially, I'm managing the management.
70 hours of community work: I bought some good thermals. I think I'll be picking up a lot of poop by the highway this winter. Buy 2006 date book. Buy more socks.
Today was the second appointement with the Probation Office. I was the only person in the waiting area for the first 30 minutes. Upon further inspection of the "help" rack, all the outreach material was for STDs, Hep C, HIV and Birth Control/Teen Pregnancy. One stop shopping for the demimonde. I parused the November issue of Latina magazine instead. Curious thing, all the perfume ads were missing.
The PO, Mr. L---, called my name and waved me in. The meeting was short, I had nothing to report except that I'd be meeting with Day Top Village at 6:00 pm for Substance Abuse Assessment. He reminded me to that he will be out for the month of January and I will report to a new PO , I should just keep following up all appoitments. I told him that Anger Mangement will not happen until January 3, 2006 as with Community Service assignment.
2006 already? Wow, where did the year go? Oh, that's right I spent most of it in court.
Managing the Anger Management
This is where things get confusing about Anger Management. Fortune Society referred me to BRC which told me to make an appointment in January with BATF, or the Brooklyn AIDS Task Force. Aids? This poney ride just went even more sallow. It seems just two weeks I got used to idea of sitting in with a group of angry meth-queens in Chelsea. What are angry AIDS patients like? Maybe I should have grabbed the literature from the help rack. At least it's in the same building where I teach. Again, one stop shopping. I won't know the duration of this program until I meet with them next week. I was told that it can go anywhere from 12 to 26 weeks. The person I spoke with said 6 weeks, but he seemed concerned about getting home during the strike.
Probation Agenda 2006
- January 17, third of four probation appointments
- Appoint one more home visit with new PO
- Call Ms. R-------- at Resource Division Unit for 70 hours of Community Service
- Anger Management with BATF, make appointment on Jan. 3
Civil court still looms like a pendulous boulder. Nothing has moved yet but I can't imagine someone filing with Supereme Court and letting a case lapse. Civil lawyers need to get paid too.
So who are the two creatures that put me here? I don't know much about them at all. They are neither monsters nor demi-gods. Just two mortals that confused entitlement with civic action. I know they both met at Bard, and they both pursued an education to become a bard. But both ended up just playing the lyre, and not so well. I don't think much of them.
Managing the various programs and appointments has become my third job. I have to keep track of all dates to make sure they do not conflict, the Probation Office does not keep track of this matter. If I don't fulfill these requirements I'll prolong my probation. Essentially, I'm managing the management.
70 hours of community work: I bought some good thermals. I think I'll be picking up a lot of poop by the highway this winter. Buy 2006 date book. Buy more socks.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Hello, Calling Middle Earth
Holiday call to my parents, Nards and Vess. The phone rang about 12 times before my mother picked up. I bought them an answering machine but they never use it (Karl respects that, Karl resists cell-phone culture). She always has the same tone in her voice, as if she never expects to hear a voice on the other end. My parents loss of hearing, and the 14 to 15 hours time difference make conversations difficult. I wasn't sure if I should tell them exactly what's been going on with my misdemeanor situation. I was hoping to get my brother Victor. In any case...
[Translated from Druish]
"Hellooo? Hellooo?"
"Mom, it's Karl."
'"Ah Karl?"
"Yes, how you doing."
"Oh Karl good, what time is there?"
"It's 3:00 am here Mom?"
"Ah, why so early there? How are you doing in New York? It's cold there now, right?"
"Well.. that's how late I have to stay up to get you guys. Things are OK, work is slow but that's everywhere these days. We're just getting over the transit strike. So Mom, is Victor there with the kids? I just want to..."
"I'll get your Dad, Nards! Hey Nards, It's Karl!"
"No Mom, is Victor there yet?"
"Nards! IT'S KARL! OK OK, Here's your dad."
"(Oi vey) No... is Victor there... OK put Dad on then.""
There's a lot of shuffling as the phone get's passed.
"Helloooo. Karl, How are you doing?"
"Hey Dad, How are you?"
"My health is good, my tests came back clean. Even the small tumors that were removed came back negative. Your classmate Johnny is my skin doctor, me removed the small bumps on my face. The came back negative. They were just bumps."
"What tumors? Oh Johnny F--------, the special surgeon? When did this happen? You OK?"
"Oh it's nothing."
When Dad says "it's nothing", it's worrysome. That's how we found out about his prostate cancer. He fell and had a concussion. He had to get stitches and when his blood test came back it showed positive for cancer antigens.
"Dr. Johnny says I have good skin for my age too."
"That's his job Dad, so you're OK then. Is anyone else there? Victor or Ralph?"
"No, it's too early, they're still at work. Why are you calling here so early?"
"It's about 3:00 am here. You know I have stay up late here to get you."
"Oh, I bet it's cooler in New York now."
"Yeah it's winter here, it's just plain cold Dad."
"You know, Ralph is finishing his Associates degree, he only has a few more credits to complete."
Ralph. Sweet Ralphy boy. He was born when I was 17. In theory he could be my child. I used to change his diapers! I don't bug him too much about taking three years to almost complete an Associates Degree, he's a sweet kid. My parents always ask if I see my aunt in Brooklyn. I always say I'll call her, but I don't live near her at all. Concepts of distance and time are lost on Middle Earthlings. Where they live is roughly the size of Rhode Island.
"Are you coming home in September with your brother Larry? I'm getting old you know, I can't travel anymore."
There was about 10 seconds of silence. Guilt and the "I'm old" conversation always shut Karl up.
"I'll try, I'll see what I can do, you know, finances..."
"I can loan you money to come here. I don't have to spend it on the grand kids."
"It's not that. Hey Dad... well, I got arrested..."
"What? Where's Vess? I'll get your Mom, Vess! Vess! It's Karl!"
Oi. More phone shuffling.
"Ah, Karl so how's your health?"
"Good, I have a little bit of a cold but good."
"I can hear it. "
"So when is everyone going to home?"
"I'm cooking for everyone now, so I don't have to run around so much tomorrow. I'll just heat it up. You should go to bed, it's late for you at this time."
"Yeah it's late here for me, Tell Victor I'll to call him this weekend. Tell everyone I said hello, especially the kids."
"OK then, thanks for calling us. I love you. Good night."
"I love you too, Mom."
Hmmmm. Karl thinks of plan "B".
[Translated from Druish]
"Hellooo? Hellooo?"
"Mom, it's Karl."
'"Ah Karl?"
"Yes, how you doing."
"Oh Karl good, what time is there?"
"It's 3:00 am here Mom?"
"Ah, why so early there? How are you doing in New York? It's cold there now, right?"
"Well.. that's how late I have to stay up to get you guys. Things are OK, work is slow but that's everywhere these days. We're just getting over the transit strike. So Mom, is Victor there with the kids? I just want to..."
"I'll get your Dad, Nards! Hey Nards, It's Karl!"
"No Mom, is Victor there yet?"
"Nards! IT'S KARL! OK OK, Here's your dad."
"(Oi vey) No... is Victor there... OK put Dad on then.""
There's a lot of shuffling as the phone get's passed.
"Helloooo. Karl, How are you doing?"
"Hey Dad, How are you?"
"My health is good, my tests came back clean. Even the small tumors that were removed came back negative. Your classmate Johnny is my skin doctor, me removed the small bumps on my face. The came back negative. They were just bumps."
"What tumors? Oh Johnny F--------, the special surgeon? When did this happen? You OK?"
"Oh it's nothing."
When Dad says "it's nothing", it's worrysome. That's how we found out about his prostate cancer. He fell and had a concussion. He had to get stitches and when his blood test came back it showed positive for cancer antigens.
"Dr. Johnny says I have good skin for my age too."
"That's his job Dad, so you're OK then. Is anyone else there? Victor or Ralph?"
"No, it's too early, they're still at work. Why are you calling here so early?"
"It's about 3:00 am here. You know I have stay up late here to get you."
"Oh, I bet it's cooler in New York now."
"Yeah it's winter here, it's just plain cold Dad."
"You know, Ralph is finishing his Associates degree, he only has a few more credits to complete."
Ralph. Sweet Ralphy boy. He was born when I was 17. In theory he could be my child. I used to change his diapers! I don't bug him too much about taking three years to almost complete an Associates Degree, he's a sweet kid. My parents always ask if I see my aunt in Brooklyn. I always say I'll call her, but I don't live near her at all. Concepts of distance and time are lost on Middle Earthlings. Where they live is roughly the size of Rhode Island.
"Are you coming home in September with your brother Larry? I'm getting old you know, I can't travel anymore."
There was about 10 seconds of silence. Guilt and the "I'm old" conversation always shut Karl up.
"I'll try, I'll see what I can do, you know, finances..."
"I can loan you money to come here. I don't have to spend it on the grand kids."
"It's not that. Hey Dad... well, I got arrested..."
"What? Where's Vess? I'll get your Mom, Vess! Vess! It's Karl!"
Oi. More phone shuffling.
"Ah, Karl so how's your health?"
"Good, I have a little bit of a cold but good."
"I can hear it. "
"So when is everyone going to home?"
"I'm cooking for everyone now, so I don't have to run around so much tomorrow. I'll just heat it up. You should go to bed, it's late for you at this time."
"Yeah it's late here for me, Tell Victor I'll to call him this weekend. Tell everyone I said hello, especially the kids."
"OK then, thanks for calling us. I love you. Good night."
"I love you too, Mom."
Hmmmm. Karl thinks of plan "B".
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Substantially Abusive
While the MTA strike is still being resolved and the work load has come to a year-end ebb, Karl has tried to make use of time until re-assignment with Day Top Village (Substance Abuse Assessment). Karl looked through the Dummies web site under "Mind, Health & Spirit" to see if they had any related matter on addtiction, anger management or substance abuse. These books seem handy:
- Addiction & Recovery For Dummies
- Anxiety & Depression Workbook For Dummies
- Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies
- Bipolar Disorder For Dummies NEW!
- Depression For Dummies
Charles Manson once said "You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
Karl is very impressed, especially with Bipolar Disorder For Dummies. Kudos Wiley Publications, you've stepped up the social consciousness market. Only now can Karl tell the difference between one who is schizo-affective and one who is just a plain 'ole whackjob. There is a Dummies book for everything! Meanwhile, Back to Substance Abuse, Karl found soemthing online called Addiction Search. The links to alcohol related abuse are dead, but the link to Absinthe Abuse is alive and well:
- Addiction & Recovery For Dummies
- Anxiety & Depression Workbook For Dummies
- Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies
- Bipolar Disorder For Dummies NEW!
- Depression For Dummies
Charles Manson once said "You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
Karl is very impressed, especially with Bipolar Disorder For Dummies. Kudos Wiley Publications, you've stepped up the social consciousness market. Only now can Karl tell the difference between one who is schizo-affective and one who is just a plain 'ole whackjob. There is a Dummies book for everything! Meanwhile, Back to Substance Abuse, Karl found soemthing online called Addiction Search. The links to alcohol related abuse are dead, but the link to Absinthe Abuse is alive and well:
http://www.health.org/nongovpubs/absinthe/They fail to mention that you can only develop this additcion with the aid of a time machine. Where the hell do you get absinthe in this day and age? If someone wants to make their own wormwood squeezins, they've earned that addiction. One of the signs of absinthe addition must be "displaying a penchant for impressionist art." You might also spot this addict by his ascot-sporting swagger and his vaguely continental accent.
Absinthe is an anise-flavored liqueur distilled with oil of wormwood, a leafy herb. Absinthe also contains flavorful herbs such as hyssop, lemon balm, and angelica. Wormwood is Artemisia absinthum. The active ingredient is thujone, a neurotoxin. The drink is distinguished by its blue-green clarity, due to its chlorophyll content. It was traditionally served with water and a cube of sugar; the sugar cube was placed on an "absinthe spoon" and the liquor was drizzled over the sugar into the glass of water. The sugar helped take the bitter edge from the absinthe; when poured into the water, the liquor turned milky white.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Probation's Limitations
Looks like no-one showed up at Day Top Village today due to the MTA strike. Karl stopped leaving messages, the fourth call might be considered stalking.
When I think of the list of questions I'll be asked for Substance Abuse Assessment, I recall the scene in Blade Runner when Rachel replies "Are you trying to find out if I'm a replicant or a lesbian?"
Today is the official Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. The Winter Solstice marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The sun appears at its lowest point in the sky, and its noontime elevation appears to be the same for several days before and after the solstice. There is no solstice in Middle Earth. The weather always seems to be the same, except during the rainy months. I prefer four seasons.
My parents still live in Middle Earth in the same house in Laketown (near Laketown Lake). They complain about the same things: the occassional Dragon burning down the village, stupid Hobbits and their bad driving, "your sister has TMJ", etc.
According to my PO, Mr. L---, probation clearly states that I am not allowed to leave New York State or the continental Untied States. Hawaii and Puerto Rico are also prohibited. I'd have to make a formal arrangement and I'd need to file more paperwork. It's not the formal paper work that bothers me. I just never told my parents that I was arrested, and took a Misdeanor Plea. My father hasn't been well at all and I think this would kill him. Mr. L--- said that I can travel the Tri-state area for work purposes as long as I call him. But as for going to Middle Earth he would have to file an approval with Judge D--------- and then he would have to approve the request and file it with my PO. How long would that take? If in the worst case scenario of death I might miss the funeral. The trip to Middle Earth is about 20 hours average and they are 14 hours ahead of New York, so upon notification I would already have been behind. The international date line is more confusing than a worm-hole.
I can just hear my sister screaching at me, "You killed Dad with your CRAP, you idiot!" So when do I tell him? And how? I can't make excuses over the course of three years as to why I just can't go there when I please. What if he has a relapse and I have to get there ASAP? I don't want to be that sad Druid at the wake crying behind a wooden sheild.
I'm not partial at all to the weather in Middle Earth, but now I miss it terribly. This makes Karl sad. Karl's friend E--- just called to cheer Karl up. We're going to Lowe's to look at hardware and powertools.
When I think of the list of questions I'll be asked for Substance Abuse Assessment, I recall the scene in Blade Runner when Rachel replies "Are you trying to find out if I'm a replicant or a lesbian?"
Today is the official Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere. The Winter Solstice marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The sun appears at its lowest point in the sky, and its noontime elevation appears to be the same for several days before and after the solstice. There is no solstice in Middle Earth. The weather always seems to be the same, except during the rainy months. I prefer four seasons.
My parents still live in Middle Earth in the same house in Laketown (near Laketown Lake). They complain about the same things: the occassional Dragon burning down the village, stupid Hobbits and their bad driving, "your sister has TMJ", etc.
According to my PO, Mr. L---, probation clearly states that I am not allowed to leave New York State or the continental Untied States. Hawaii and Puerto Rico are also prohibited. I'd have to make a formal arrangement and I'd need to file more paperwork. It's not the formal paper work that bothers me. I just never told my parents that I was arrested, and took a Misdeanor Plea. My father hasn't been well at all and I think this would kill him. Mr. L--- said that I can travel the Tri-state area for work purposes as long as I call him. But as for going to Middle Earth he would have to file an approval with Judge D--------- and then he would have to approve the request and file it with my PO. How long would that take? If in the worst case scenario of death I might miss the funeral. The trip to Middle Earth is about 20 hours average and they are 14 hours ahead of New York, so upon notification I would already have been behind. The international date line is more confusing than a worm-hole.
I can just hear my sister screaching at me, "You killed Dad with your CRAP, you idiot!" So when do I tell him? And how? I can't make excuses over the course of three years as to why I just can't go there when I please. What if he has a relapse and I have to get there ASAP? I don't want to be that sad Druid at the wake crying behind a wooden sheild.
I'm not partial at all to the weather in Middle Earth, but now I miss it terribly. This makes Karl sad. Karl's friend E--- just called to cheer Karl up. We're going to Lowe's to look at hardware and powertools.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The MTA Strikes Back
The MTA strike eclipsed most everything today. They say that they have reached an impass. There were no trains or buses, just dollar vans, bikes and hordes of people navigating Flatbush. Karl was a bit late for his probation appointment, losing his way by trying to take shortcuts through downtown. The walk to downtown was cold, about 22 degrees.
The routine was the same as last: empty pockets; open bindle for inspection; check in wooden sheild, scimitar and matches; walk through metal detector. The room is plain, no Holiday decorations, no lights. The room color can be described as "light bandaid". The seats are about as comfy as a Russian dentist's office. The sign on the bullet proof window reads "Receptionist will NOT call Probation Officers on report day. DON'T ASK. Thank You."
At around 8:55 am, a woman enterred the room, adjusted her glasses and read from the list. She paused between names.
"Mr. Rodriguez?"
"Mr. Williams?"
"Mr. Ishmael?"
1) Denial and more denial: Karl has been told he's not 5'9", but karl does not believe this
2) Disrespect of parents & family: Karl only jokes the adoption papers
3) Items missing from home: Someone is spending Karl's money, hmmmm
4) Finding strange items in their room and clothing: Karl never knew her name, then she was gone.
5) Falling school grades: N/A
6) Coming home late: Define late
7) Sleeping late and long: N/A
8) Isolating from family members: They live in Middle Earth (14 hours ahead) but Karl calls when he can.
9) Dropping out of sporting & other extra-curricular activities: Does this involve excercise?
10) Always asking for money: And the ATM never replies
11) Unexplained new clothing & other items: What's that blue stain on Karl's bed? Refer to item 4.
I imagine I must pee in a cup again. I've been told I'll be asked a series of tricky questions like:
Q: An Owl Bear is attacking your group, can you tell it to stop and go away?
A: No I have no influence over an owl Bear, for it is neither Owl nor Bear. It is a monster that weighs over 143 stone.
The routine was the same as last: empty pockets; open bindle for inspection; check in wooden sheild, scimitar and matches; walk through metal detector. The room is plain, no Holiday decorations, no lights. The room color can be described as "light bandaid". The seats are about as comfy as a Russian dentist's office. The sign on the bullet proof window reads "Receptionist will NOT call Probation Officers on report day. DON'T ASK. Thank You."
At around 8:55 am, a woman enterred the room, adjusted her glasses and read from the list. She paused between names.
"Mr. Rodriguez?"
"Mr. Williams?"
"Mr. Ishmael?"
Aside from her and the security guard, there were only two of us in the room. We kept looking at each other. I'm Druish, but I sometimes get mistaken for latino. Eventually my PO Mr. L--- came out and just waved me in. I gave him copies of tax papers and pay stubs and other proof that I work. He told me that he will be out in January and another PO will take over my assignment. I made a second appointment (of four) for next week. I still have one more home visit to schedule.
My 6:00 pm appointment with Day Top Village was canceled due to the MTA strike. I have to call again tomorrow to make another appointeent. But with the strike still going on, they might not be open. Of course being an over-achiever, I went to DayTop.org to find out more about them. In New York, Day Top Village has an annual craft fair in summer. They have an affiliated program in CA that sound more like a spa for substance abusers. Everyone on the web site has nice hair. Karl raises a sceptical monobrow. This check list below is from their site.
1) Denial and more denial: Karl has been told he's not 5'9", but karl does not believe this
2) Disrespect of parents & family: Karl only jokes the adoption papers
3) Items missing from home: Someone is spending Karl's money, hmmmm
4) Finding strange items in their room and clothing: Karl never knew her name, then she was gone.
5) Falling school grades: N/A
6) Coming home late: Define late
7) Sleeping late and long: N/A
8) Isolating from family members: They live in Middle Earth (14 hours ahead) but Karl calls when he can.
9) Dropping out of sporting & other extra-curricular activities: Does this involve excercise?
10) Always asking for money: And the ATM never replies
11) Unexplained new clothing & other items: What's that blue stain on Karl's bed? Refer to item 4.
I imagine I must pee in a cup again. I've been told I'll be asked a series of tricky questions like:
Q: An Owl Bear is attacking your group, can you tell it to stop and go away?
A: No I have no influence over an owl Bear, for it is neither Owl nor Bear. It is a monster that weighs over 143 stone.
Monday, December 19, 2005
The Road to Anger Management
My name is Karl, I'm a fourth level druid of average height, weight and intelligence. I have a decent amount of hit points. In an incident during the summer of 2004, I was unwillingly dragged into a scuffle with physical consequnces to the instigators. I spent 20 hours in the Minotuar's Labyrinth as they were driven to the hospital. The charges read like an out-take from Starky and Hutch. I made the police blotter but, I didn't make headline news. I was charged as a violent fellon: "the People v. Karl the Druid". After 16 months of a court dates, DA G------ had an unwilling witness, a victim that was hard to reach and an overcharged case. My attorney posed a Misdemeanor Plea. At my sentencing Judge D--------- added Anger Management (a 12 to 26 week program) and Alcohol Abuse Assessment.
Despite the judge saying it would do me good, it was more like an opportunity throw salt in my eyes as I go down. The clerk, Ms. R-------- , said there is no such thing as Alcohol Abuse Assessment, it's actually a small part of the Drug Rehab/Treatment Program for domestic and violent fellons (which Karl is neither). Last Wednesday it took the clerk about an hour or so to place me in a program. She said I didn't fit into any of the given categories, it was this or Drug Treatment.
Is Karl angry? Well, not yet. But Karl might be after trying to manuerver through the Kings County Criminal Curt system. Karl takes a more Zen-like approach.
As the sign by the elevator the reads, "You Are Here". So here I am, but it seems I never know what's next until I get there. Surfing through the criminal court system for over a year has been like being kidnapped and then being thrown from a plane. I've been taken out of my normal life, I don't know what's next and eventually I'll just hit the ground somehow.
Monday, December 19
I had to reschedule a home visit from my PO, Mr. L---. I told him I had Anger Management in the morning and I'd miss the home visit. He said "Well Karl, you wouldn't want to make them angry." I laughed politely. I'm never sure of how I'm supposed to react. He seems like a decent guy, but he is "the man".
At the Fortune Society in Chlesea, 8:00 am
After waiting for an hour or so, we were told that all programs were now overbooked and that we'd be re-assigned or we can just go home. Go home and what? I stayed not knowing what to expect. A woman in a smart navy blue suit enterred the waiting lounge. The lounge was decked in early 80's re-hab, from the muddy art therapy exhibit to the dirty paper snow flakes strung from the ceiling.
"Good morning, I'm Ms. L----, Has anyone been released form Rikers in the past 6 weeks?"
"Has anyone here recently been released from jail?"
"How about drug rehab, parole?"
"Is anyone here for employment opportunities?".
No one raised a hand except for the Hassidic guy. We looked each other over asuming that the other was just plain angry.
"OK then, I'll call you in the order that you signed in for your re-assignment."
I waited for another 30 minutes. I eventually interviewed with Counselor C-----. I noticed the art on her walls. She said, these were gifts from a client. I said I liked the colorful peice that looked like confetti, I liked the wavy flowers. She pointed out that the dark shadow in the middle was the client and the wavy lines were barbed wire. I wasn't at all partial to his drawing of a blind-folded man crucified to a chain link fence.
After much calling around, I was referred to BATF at 000 C----- Street. That's where I teach! What are the chances of that? I told Ms. C-----, she asked if I knew Ms. R------. I said no I'm only involved with Continuing Ed (not Rehab).
I got home and spent the rest of morning trying to contact BATF. I reached a Mr. L---- just before noon and he said that sessions will not start until January but he can't be certian of availability or duration, so I should tell my PO that I called him. He said it was nice to touch base with me. At my home visit, Mr. L---- made a map of my dwelling. I told him I wasn't assigned to a program yet. He said it was typical with the Holidays. Tomorrow I have a probation appointment at 8:00 am and Subtance/Drug Abuse Assessment in the afternoon.
Epilogue
So what will they report when they find Karl doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem? Should Karl start a drug habit to give them something to work with? Karl is conflicted.
Despite the judge saying it would do me good, it was more like an opportunity throw salt in my eyes as I go down. The clerk, Ms. R-------- , said there is no such thing as Alcohol Abuse Assessment, it's actually a small part of the Drug Rehab/Treatment Program for domestic and violent fellons (which Karl is neither). Last Wednesday it took the clerk about an hour or so to place me in a program. She said I didn't fit into any of the given categories, it was this or Drug Treatment.
Is Karl angry? Well, not yet. But Karl might be after trying to manuerver through the Kings County Criminal Curt system. Karl takes a more Zen-like approach.
As the sign by the elevator the reads, "You Are Here". So here I am, but it seems I never know what's next until I get there. Surfing through the criminal court system for over a year has been like being kidnapped and then being thrown from a plane. I've been taken out of my normal life, I don't know what's next and eventually I'll just hit the ground somehow.
Monday, December 19
I had to reschedule a home visit from my PO, Mr. L---. I told him I had Anger Management in the morning and I'd miss the home visit. He said "Well Karl, you wouldn't want to make them angry." I laughed politely. I'm never sure of how I'm supposed to react. He seems like a decent guy, but he is "the man".
At the Fortune Society in Chlesea, 8:00 am
After waiting for an hour or so, we were told that all programs were now overbooked and that we'd be re-assigned or we can just go home. Go home and what? I stayed not knowing what to expect. A woman in a smart navy blue suit enterred the waiting lounge. The lounge was decked in early 80's re-hab, from the muddy art therapy exhibit to the dirty paper snow flakes strung from the ceiling.
"Good morning, I'm Ms. L----, Has anyone been released form Rikers in the past 6 weeks?"
"Has anyone here recently been released from jail?"
"How about drug rehab, parole?"
"Is anyone here for employment opportunities?".
No one raised a hand except for the Hassidic guy. We looked each other over asuming that the other was just plain angry.
"OK then, I'll call you in the order that you signed in for your re-assignment."
I waited for another 30 minutes. I eventually interviewed with Counselor C-----. I noticed the art on her walls. She said, these were gifts from a client. I said I liked the colorful peice that looked like confetti, I liked the wavy flowers. She pointed out that the dark shadow in the middle was the client and the wavy lines were barbed wire. I wasn't at all partial to his drawing of a blind-folded man crucified to a chain link fence.
After much calling around, I was referred to BATF at 000 C----- Street. That's where I teach! What are the chances of that? I told Ms. C-----, she asked if I knew Ms. R------. I said no I'm only involved with Continuing Ed (not Rehab).
I got home and spent the rest of morning trying to contact BATF. I reached a Mr. L---- just before noon and he said that sessions will not start until January but he can't be certian of availability or duration, so I should tell my PO that I called him. He said it was nice to touch base with me. At my home visit, Mr. L---- made a map of my dwelling. I told him I wasn't assigned to a program yet. He said it was typical with the Holidays. Tomorrow I have a probation appointment at 8:00 am and Subtance/Drug Abuse Assessment in the afternoon.
Epilogue
So what will they report when they find Karl doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem? Should Karl start a drug habit to give them something to work with? Karl is conflicted.
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