Probation Day: If I Could Keep Crime in a Bottle

Tuesday, March 28
Karl corrected typos on his proposal for a new project hoping this would bring some work in. Sending out a proposal in this day nad age is like Noah sending bird into the flood weather. It may not return with an olive leaf in its mouth if it returns at all. Fly little starling, fly fly away.

Busy day, Mr. L--- had a list of people before me. but I did arrive at 9:45 am. By the fifth time he came out I moved up front and noticed he checked me off with out calling me. I took a seat up front. At 10:45 he came out and I informed him he missed my name. He apologized and lead me to back to his office. He logged me into his file and we chatted a bit. I informed him I should be done with Anger Management on April 10. He congratulated me. I asked him how I was doing on Community Service hours. He said I'd have to ask Mr. B----- about that.

Karl recalled that "ask him... no ask him" manner. That how things get done between departments. He chose to just nod his head in agreement.

Mr. L--- printed something from his computer and stepped into the hallway to get it. "Oh Karl, you have to take a drug test today" he said as he handed me the papers.

"OK, where do I go? The Jerolemon location?10th Floor?" He nodded affirmatively. I paused and gave a pensive look "Is there a problem, Karl?" "I don't need to go yet." He laughed "Well, I suggest you do something and do this sooner than later." "How often do I take a drug test?" "Every so often."

I guess that's why they call it Random Drug Testing. I admire the surprise-sneak approach, but I just can't pee on demand. I bought a coffee and had a cigarette. Then I bought bottled water and read the two-sheet Drug Testing form. Heroin, Marihuana, Cocaine, and Amphetamines were at the top of the list, then there were two more that I didn't recognize. I literally scanned my way to the 10th floor, handed my paperwork to the guard, and took a seat.

At around 11:50 I was called into the testing lavatory. The man with the paper shower cap and gloves handed me a cup and said "Just half way." As I stood over the toilet with a cup below me I couldn't help to wonder about scandal. Can they sell my pee (black market pee)? Can they spike my pee (framed pee)? Can they keep track of me with my pee as with a radio collar (G.Pee S.)? They need stickers that reads "Sample only, not for resale." It a took a while but I gave him his quota. I think it would have been easier if he wasn't standing behind me watching.